Each Coming Night

*Disclaimer--This post happened way back in October, the 12th to be exact. Distractions and other things kept me from finishing it!*



I had a dream last night.

I woke up and wrote it down as a text message and sent it to Brian so I wouldn't forget it.

I dreamt I was hiking the Chilkoot trail again. Instead of it being a real trail, it was just a big, long staircase reaching to the heavens. I don't remember all of the dream, but I remember scrubbing a dirty mattress on that staircase so I could cradle people I meant to hold on there. I dragged people I loved to the top, although I don't know who they were in the dream. When I reached the top, my old RM roommate was at the top. I started crying and panting, telling her how hard it was. I had made it, but it was so very hard! She waved her hand at me as if to dismiss me, as if to say that what I did was no big deal, and she turned to greet the next few people who came up behind me. I turned away feeling cheated and hurt that she didn't care; that my experience wasn't worth talking about.

The dream morphed into me going into work. We were let out early because of a storm, and I came out of the mall to dark clouds, lightening, wind, and dust kicking up around me. I saw a tornado touch down near my car, and I knew with urgency that I had to get home to make sure Rachel, Jon, and Chai were okay. I rushed to my car, although I feared the tornado was too close and that it would suck me up along with my car. Fortunately, it was moving past me as I got to my car. I tried to drive as quickly as I could, but there was traffic, people running in front of me, trees getting blown over...
All of a sudden I was on my feet, and I was running home with a pack on my shoulders. But I couldn't run. My legs were moving in slow motion, as if I were underwater. In my dream, I figured that I could do nothing about my legs moving so slowly, and I just had to focus on getting home. 
As I kept walking, I found more people who were just like me, searching for loved ones. We teamed up and walked together, but as the journey progressed, I realized they were not to be trusted. Every time we took a rest, the group would try to take my pack to steal the contents. I knew not what was in my pack, only that I had to protect it. I tried to run away from them, but my slow legs only carried my just out of reach of them. I threw rocks and pipes at their faces, filled with so much rage and only wanting to hurt them. They never hit their mark. In my dream, I abandoned trying to deflect them and ran as fast as I could, knowing that if I could just get home to Rachel and Jon, they would protect me. As I neared the house, however, I found that I was walking completely normally. There was relief at first, then panic as I realized that my pack was gone. I turned and ran back to get it, thinking, "I just need my keys-they can have whatever they want, as long as they don't take my key!"
When I neared the group, they were all sitting in a circle, munching and sharing the contents of my bag. Although I had first thought that I only needed my keys to the house, heartache and desperation filled my whole being. I was so hurt, I tried to smash the people's faces into each other. I grabbed onto the necks of the shirts and tried to throw them, but they moved as if they were in water, too. They were heavy, slow, and merely bounced off each other. All the while I was screaming, "Don't, I paid for that! It's mine, it's not yours, please!" As I turned to look at the group, my brother-in-law Jon was sitting down with the rest of them, eating the contents as well. He chuckled as he said, "I really shouldn't be doing this." I felt betrayal so intensely, I woke up blinking away tears.

Woodkid--Baltimore Fireflies

What are the words that I'm supposed to say?
Your white skin, swirling fireflies.
Darkness has surrounded Baltimore bay.
Why don't you open your blue eyes?
Are they things that water can't wash away?
How can your absence leave no trace?
As I let you sink in Baltimore bay.
I drown myself deep in disgrace.

What is the price, am I supposed to pay?
For all the things I try to hide?
What is my fate, am I supposed to pray?
That trouble's gone with the sunlight?

A warm sun rises and ignites the bay.
I come back home and start to cry
I'll never come back to Baltimore bay.
Try to forget the fireflies.
What are the words that I'm supposed to say?
If someone knew about this lie?
If your body rises to the surface?
Through the silence of fireflies